Moishe House SF

Here at MHSF we love welcoming newcomers into our mix of community events. At least once a week, sometimes two or three times, we get a random email from someone who has heard about MH from a friend, a cousin, coworker, or some other random person in their life. Once we get this email contact from them, we are quick to write back and let them know in a short paragraph what we do, what we are about, and how they can get connected and be involved. We will send them a link to our monthly calendar, forwarded them our monthly email, and add them to our email list.

When someone shows up to an activity or program where they (clearly) do not know anyone, or it is their first time over to our house, we do everything we can to make them feel welcomed and comfortable. Engaging them in their personal story, where they are from, what they do, how they heard about MH, why they wanted to check it out, what sort of involvement they have had in the past with their Jewish community, where they went to college, what sort of traveling they have done, these are all some of the general questions we like to ask people if it our first time meeting them. Often before we get to the third or fourth questions, some sort of connection is made in which we can relate our lives and or experiences to one another. Also, people are often very interested in knowing more about MH, how it started, what specifically we do, how we all got involved, etc. It's important to feel out the person, see if they come across as introverted or extroverted, as some people are very comfortable talking about themselves, and others keep their self descriptions short and sweet. I like to think of it as being comfortably curious when we meet new people, be curious about them, but also help them feel comfortable. Moreover, if there are people at the events who are shmoozers and enjoy meeting new people, it is great to introduce the new person to one of these people, knowing we don't have to feel like it is up to us to entertain the person throughout the remainder of the event. More like, we welcome them in for the first 10 or 15 minutes until they look a bit more at ease, and then we can introduce them to some of the other people in attendance. More times than not, especially when we have Shabbat, we ask people go around and introduce themselves to the group, as an informal hello of sorts, although it can feel a little awkward, it is important to do this.

Also, if we have made a good connection with someone after they have come to an event for the first time, one of us will send them a follow up email, a sort of "thank you" email for them coming by and taking some time to meet new people and getting to know their Jewish community a little better. This personalized touch has huge dividends, and makes the person receiving the email feel very valued, and not so much like a random person who just showed up one evening. Lastly, this small effort on our end will more than likely encourage the person to want to return to future events, or at least spread the word to their friends about our house, how inviting the residents are that live there, and how friendly the other attendees were. Word of mouth after positive experiences is the best way our MH SF community will continue to nurture itself.

Danny in SF

The new decade is upon us! Is is crazy to think the 00's have come and gone. Many of us have graduated high school and college in this quick blip of time, gotten a taste of the working world, and even gotten a chance to participate in this incredible opportunity known as Moishe House. As this year and this decade comes to an end, we will be welcoming 2 wonderful women into the full time mix here at MHSF. Dave Persyko, the eldest standing Moishe House resident turned in his keys this month, making room for a couple of other folks to take his spot, one of which is taking his bedroom, and the other is taking the often talked about and somewhat mysterious "5th bedroom".

New faces bring new energy. New energy brings fresh and creative programmatic ideas, possibilities, dreams and goals. I think it is a real treat for the three of us who have been here for over a year each to be starting this new year and new decade in partnership with two new housemates who are bringing a fresh and energetic perspective and outlook to everything Moishe we do here in San Francisco. It is awesome to also know after just 3 1/2 months living in the house, all five of us will be able to meet up with all the other Moishe Houses in Texas for the national retreat. What a special and sweet way for out new roommates to be see and hear first hand what other people in their houses are doing, after having 3 months of time here in SF to put their best foot forward, and get immersed in the wonderful Jewish community that is thriving and only getting stronger as the new year approaches.

Danny in SF

Earlier today, I googled the word “trust.” It was a sobering experience. I was more than 20 pages into the results before meeting a single instance of trust in the sense of belief in something or someone. There were all types of financial trusts, businesses with “trust” in their names, companies eager to help you set up personal trusts, charitable trusts of every kind—but nothing about putting your trust in anything or anyone. When I did find an entry relating to trust in this common sense, it was about mistrust; a psychiatrist offering help for people whose trust had been abused through infidelity or fraud.

Trust is fundamental to life. If you cannot trust anything, life becomes intolerable—a constant battle against paranoia and looming disaster. You can’t have relationships without trust, let alone good ones. Intimacy depends on it. I suspect more marriages are wrecked by lack of trust than by actual infidelity. The partner who can’t trust the other not to betray him or her will either drive them away or force them into some real or assumed act of faithlessness.

In the workplace too, trust is essential. An organization without trust will be full of backstabbing, fear and paranoid suspicion. If you work for a boss who doesn’t trust her people to do things right, you’ll have a miserable time of it. She’ll be checking up on you all the time, correcting “mistakes” and “oversights” and constantly reminding you to do this or that. Colleagues who don’t trust one another will need to spend more time watching their backs than doing any useful work. The office politics would make Machiavelli blush.

I’m constantly amazed when people claim to be overworked and under constant pressure, yet fail to do the one thing most likely to ease their burdens: trust other people more. They don’t delegate, because they don’t trust people to do what they’ve been asked to do; so they have to take on every significant task themselves. They attend every meeting, however futile, because they don’t trust others not to talk about them behind their back, or reach decisions they don’t like. They demand copies of every memo, report and e-mail, because they don’t trust what might be said if they’re not watching. They’re constantly keyed-up and tense, watching for rivals or other departments to launch some covert operation to undermine their position. It’s not the pressure of actual work that’s driving them towards some stress-related illness, it’s their lack of trust in anyone and anything. Is it any wonder they’re close to total burnout?

So this year new year, let's go ahead and trust one another in an attempt to relieve stress, produce good events, and generally enjoy life.